Most people forget the third part

Panacea comment for Financial Advisers and Paraplanners

20 Jun 2017

Most people forget the third part

We started the week with this statement from the Lloyds Banking Group on behalf of HBOS:

‘Our customers’ safety is of paramount importance to us’: 

‘We have a clear policy that if a customer says that they are considering taking their own life that we must take the statement seriously and take action to protect them. 

Whatever your view of Noel Edmunds and Mr. Blobby may be, I cannot think of any example in my forty plus years in the financial services industry where any bank has ever made such a statement.

It is made worse in my humble opinion because any organisation that makes such a statement, especially via a spokesman, never actually means it. They are so detached from the pain they have caused and in apologising for that, their words simply make matters worse.

Lloyds is not alone, in fact they are quite low down the scale of stock messages of faux regret and condolence.

This month has seen a positive 12 bore load from politicians in particular and if we look back over the year, they have been supported by fading celebs needing a publicity boost, trade unions, regulators various, civic leaders, minority interest groups, broadcasters (BBC) and others of the so called society ‘elites’.

Top phrases used to sound good but little else at the moment are, in no particular order:

  • “Our hearts/ minds/ sympathies go out those affected by this…(fill in the blank)”.

This is a hijacking of an equally irrelevant use of the words, originally used by the military to describe a counter-insurgency policy of various governments. Essentially focused on “community outreach” in times of good versus evil conflict, it is now used in reference to emotional and intellectual support or commitment by those in authority to assuage them from their own inactions that probably caused the very thing they are ‘reaching out to’ empathise with.

Why bother with this type of statement, after hearing it so many times this month alone, from so many, it is devalued to the point of having no meaning at all other than a useful intro line to demonstrate faux empathy that is just not genuinely there.

  • “Lessons will be learned”:

This is sometimes linked to the word “Learnings”. NATO has a great definition of this. “The purpose of a Lessons Learned procedure is to learn efficiently from experience and to provide validated justifications for amending the existing way of doing things, in order to improve performance, both during the course of an operation and for subsequent operations. This requires lessons to be meaningful and for them to be brought to the attention of the appropriate authority able and responsible for dealing with them. It also requires the chain of command to have a clear understanding of how to prioritise lessons and how to staff them.”

A perfectly clear definition, but the reality in UKplc today is that the statement made and the realities of it are travelling in polar opposite directions.

Lessons are never learned, never implemented and personal responsibility is never fully identified, defined or the guilty made accountable.

“I deeply regret”:

A very popular phrase in touchy, feely UKplc, it is a very useful phrase in the apologising person’s verbal arsenal because it doesn’t require you to admit you did anything wrong, at all, ever. In fact the use of this phrase would simply be another way of saying I really could not give a…SHoneT.

“Mistakes were made”:

For those who feel that “I deeply regret” is admitting just a little bit too much responsibility, they can ‘upgrade’ at no extra reputational cost to “mistakes were made.” This is the zenith level of non-apology, used at the very highest levels of government. Prime Ministers like Tony Blair, David Cameron and now Theresa May have used the words. These are seen as better than “I deeply regret” by not only leaving it open whether they are actually the culprits, but also existentially questioning whether there even is a mistake?

I saw a great definition of ‘sorry’ recently. It said that “Being genuinely sorry is actually remembering what the hell you did and having enough genuine regret to sincerely endeavour not to repeat the very thing you know has caused distress or even great hurt”.

The source went on to note,When someone’s on your back like Zorro to apologise to you, or for you to accept the apology, they don’t actually mean they’re sorry. 

What they really mean is :“Look, can you hurry the ‘f…’ up and accept my apology so I can stop feeling bad about it? You perceiving me as (wronging/hurting/abusing/whatever- insert again where appropriate) is terribly inconvenient and my ego doesn’t like the pinch of reality, so if you don’t mind, get a shuffle on, accept my apology and let’s move on so I can slam my palm down on the Reset Button.

It would be great if those making these vacuous public pronouncements could come up with an original, heartfelt message of their own, one that sums up how they genuinely feel and not statements recycled to simply sound good, boost their own fading profiles or to kill off a reputational firestorm.

Better still, just shut up.

Brexit conspiracy theory, they thought it was all over. It is now.

Panacea comment for advisers and Paraplanners

13 Jun 2017

Brexit conspiracy theory, they thought it was all over. It is now.

Winston Churchill said, “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

I have been reading a very interesting book by Sunday Times journalist Michael Hume called ‘Revolting. It is a tome exploring in some detail how the establishment elites are or might be seen to be undermining democracy.

Now I am not a big fan of conspiracy theories but I had a bit of a “Damascene conversion” today and I will share my thoughts with you.

Brexit is the new ‘Gunpowder, Treason and Plot’. It is Cavaliers and Roundheads. It is Braveheart. It has divided the nation and it is about to get worse. In fact so much so that it may end in civil unrest with the electorate ‘revolting’.

Here goes my very simple conspiracy theory.

The referendum produced a result that the establishment neither expected nor wanted. A bit like the Trump Presidency or even the resurgence of the Labour party in the last weeks of the election, depending on your political leanings of course.

When the Brexit result was declared, instead of triggering Brexit the very next day as he said he would, David Cameron resigned, buying the elites some time.

And with that the establishment wheels started to turn to ensure that the right outcome of that referendum would eventually prevail. Behind closed doors those elites that control so called democratic UK set in train a series of actions to ensure that outcome prevailed.

It would take a year or two but….hey ho, wheels with a precise function move slowly.

Establishment wheel 1: The conservative party needed a new leader. Strangely, after some very convoluted, overt Machiavellian machinations, Boris was sidelined (knifed) by Michael Gove, Theresa May won the contest on 11 July 2016, after the constructive withdrawal of the only other candidate, Andrea Leadsom, left her as the sole candidate without any vote needing to take place.

This ensured that a PM was in place who was a remain voter. She did not trigger the Brexit process either, feeling it best for the nation that a delay happened giving those elites time to start making some carefully calculated mischief. And that is what they did.

Court cases, more court cases, EU threats were all the hazards being put in the way to try and get some momentum to make the country think again, vote again- like Ireland (until they got the vote the establishment elites and the EU wanted).

None of this worked and in order to ensure that some clear blue water was put in view to keep the Brexiteers happy, on the 29th May 2017, Theresa May formally wrote to Donald Tusk announcing the intention of the UK to leave the EU.

Establishment wheel 2; The Brexiteers were now happy but there appeared to be no strategy declared to deal with the negotiations. Many said this was because there was no strategy.

That could be because the end game here is that Brexit as wished for by the majority Brexiteers was never going to be allowed to happen. To ensure that outcome a very cunning plan indeed needed to be put in place.

It would cost politically but that did not matter. It is/ was about country, about the elites who control UKplc and certainly not about the people or indeed politicians.

Establishment wheel 3: Theresa May, in thrall, possibly hock to the Remain elites had to take some desperate measures. She claimed that an election was needed to boost her majority to ensure the ‘right outcome’ for UK plc prevailed, giving her negotiating strength in Brussels.

The right outcome for the Brexiteers was so called ‘hard Brexit’. The right outcome for the elites was a soft Brexit or perhaps no Brexit at all.

Establishment wheel 4: The problem with boosting the majority was that this was the very last thing the elites needed. The polls were suggesting a triple digit majority that surely would see ‘hard Brexit’ the result.

But the elites cunning plan was on track, instead of setting the election date to fit with the local elections- the most obvious option for a so called ‘snap’ election, the date was rolled back several weeks to allow campaigning to take place.

Something that would definitely muddy those clear blue waters.

Establishment wheel 5: With waters muddied, Tiny Tim went to work on the Brexiteers, to little effect. The Conservative lead was still looking impressive and Brexit on track. Manifesto time for the elites was the ‘nuclear’ option’ and the button was pushed.

Establishment wheel 6: The so-called leaked Labour manifesto started the wobble the élites needed, more state spending on the NHS, infrastructure, free university education, nationalising the railways and utilities but it was still not enough. What was needed to ensure true chaos and a Brexit sanity sabotage was something almost unthinkable.

Establishment wheel 7: With a Conservative majority still looking at upper two figures the final act was played out. The core Conservative vote is the old. They actually go out and vote.

They have worked hard for a lifetime, paid into the system, gone through wars, plague, famine, pestilence, recessions and even a number of Labour governments are still live in their thoughts. All those strikes, union power, three-day working weeks. They would never vote for Corbin.

Establishment wheel 8: How do you stop that mindset? Simples. You produce your manifesto last and in it you lay the ground to take away all your entire core vote that as a party have strived to retain.

To add a bit of toxicity to ensure more Labour votes you propose to end the fox-hunting ban, refuse to rule out tax increases and bring back Grammar schools.

The result? Job done, electoral chaos, a country fed up with elections, a Prime Minister who has no power without DUP support and what’s more cannot resign without risking yet another election that Corbin might actually win.

Not quite the ‘Up yours Delors’ result for the Brexiteers anymore.

Michael Gove was on record as saying “I think there’s a grassroots feeling of being betrayed by the elites in some way: that the system is working for itself and not for the people at the bottom”.

He was right, but it has escalated further up the system now.

Just a thought, after all, what do I know?

Politicians and Pyrrhic victories

Panacea Comment for Financial Advisers and Paraplanners

12 Jun 2017

Politicians and Pyrrhic victories

As the dust settles on the political mess that surrounds us, I, like you no doubt, have been reflecting on what ‘learnings’ (that wonderful word that those who should be responsible trot out when they have messed up) have been coming out, a little before Thursday and now in the swirling dust cloud of verbal spin, catch phrases, excuses, retributions, pollsters and egos.

My own MP, a junior minister at the Ministry of Justice, visited me last week and expressed his concern that the Tory party had gone ‘off piste’ into danger.

In skiing parlance this was because the small group of skiers had no guide, had not listened to a weather forecast and had no piste map with them or even an avalanche safety device.

I tend not to be too political. This is because I have met a few MPs over the years, some on the TSC, some who were not. I have been amazed at their arrogance, general stupidity and lack of any knowledge of real life.

The nation today should be, in Hector Sants speak, ‘very afraid’.

Why?

Because it now comes to light that the government, since Brexit, has in effect been run by two unelected individuals. They have excluded many senior ministers and MPs from the formulation of policy, a campaign strategy and manifesto.

That is bad enough.

What is worse is what we find out now.

Not only do we have an idiot as PM, we have a bunch of spineless ministers who sat there and said absolutely nothing. Not even a whimper of discontent, in effect offering up a ‘Nurnberg defence (we were only acting on orders) in fear of their jobs in the next government that was expected to have a hundred plus majority.

And even worse, the post election complete lack of contrition. Today from Michael Fallon on the Andrew Marr Show, making possibly the best Uriah Heep impersonation I have ever see by a politician.

Readers of Charles Dickens will know that the character is notable for his cloying humility, obsequiousness, and insincerity, making frequent references to his own “‘umbleness”.

And this lot want to form a government to see the nation through the Brexit process?

Once again I am reminded of Bob Monkhouse’s quote about his career aspirations. He said, “everybody laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. They’re not laughing now”.

In this case think of Mrs May. Nobody laughed when she called an election that was not needed. Well, they’re all laughing now.

God save the Queen.